5:30 am RANT... and RAVE

Ok, something's gotta give!!! I am 13 DPO and this is the second time in the past few days that I have been awakened around 5:30 nauseous... What gives? I know what my mind tells me... OMG this is it... your going to get a BFP... Why cant the freaking test say that!!! I have been feeling so weird for the past week, so many symptoms out of the ordinary... I have been trying to tell myself that this could be our month. Then I test and nothing... stark white. I am just so confused. This happens while I am asleep and after lunch time almost everyday for a week now.

I watched the best movie last night. Facing the Giants. Wow my sweet friend told me to watch it at least a month ago. I put it on my Netflix list and it finally came yesterday. As I am typing this I am tearing up (symptom) just thinking about how awesome a movie it was. Now, she told me I needed to watch it because it was about how you can't give up, that you gotta let God have it, and of course its about our favorite sport football. About 15 minutes into the movie I think it was, they came face to face with Robbie and my greatest obstacle these days. Of course the movie ends with everything going their way thanks be to God who they totally lift all burdens up to! Which I myself did on April 9th. But, this movie has made me reflect and reassess whether or not I really gave it all to him.

Three things I will leave with...

Attitude is the aroma of your heart, if your attitude stinks your heart ain't right! :) Love that quote straight from the movie

Give God the Glory when you win, but also win you lose

With God all things are possible... turning around a losing season all the way to getting our BFP!!!

Ultra sound adventure

This will be short but I had an ultrasound on Wednesday to check everything thing out. No no no there is no bun in my oven yet, but Dr. Ke wanted to check it all out. That was something I don't think you can prepare yourself for. I mean I guess once you are preggo your body is an open book anyway so I might as well get used to it because he did tell me he will get me pregnant, it just might take a while ( and I was thinking money). Anyway my ultra sound lady was so nice and talked to me about so many things it pretty much kept my mind off of the baseball in my stuff. Sorry TMI. It was neat to see my ovaries on the screen. I like most PCOSers have 20 to 25 follicles instead of the normal 7 to 12. But she did try to comfort me to let me know that some come in with like 50. I was like ok, I want 7 to 12 lol. I left with questions that I am guessing are for the doctor once he reads my ultrasounds. My lining was 8.4 mm and she said that most people right before the wicked witch shows are 13.something mm. So, my question is is 8.4 enough to be able to implant an egg? I googled it but, everything was vague. I have been having some really bad bouts of nausea and dizziness... but no BFP yet. Oh well over and out for the weekend! Hope everyone has a Happy & Safe Memorial Day!

If you have any info on the lining thing... please offer some ideas. I am just thinking how will we get it thicker if it has already been 56 days and only 8.4 mm......

HALLELUJAH!!!! Finally someone who cares in the medical profession!!!

So today was my RE appointment with Dr. Ke... It was fabulous minus the torrential down pour with no umbrella and/or close parking. Dr. Ke was wonderful! I really like his demeanor. He was very positive and really gave me a sense that he cared about helping me, unlike my obgyn who kind of pawned me off on nurses who relayed false info. He said that my insulin was not "sky high" as the nurse had told me. He said it was actually normal for someone my weight. Ah yes the weight issue. That is the actually issue. He said my weight was not normal. But instead of saying your fat, he said, "I want to refer you to a nutritionist to help you with the right diet and exercise for you." He also ran a battery of blood test to check everything out, made me an appointment for an ultra sound (wed.) to check out what everything looks like and to make sure there isn't a little bean in there after all, and got the ball rolling for a SA for Robbie to make sure there isn't a male factor of that nasty little word "infertility"

I left felling like I could rise above all the negativity my obgyn left me with. I had answers to my questions, and he said all I want you to do is loose 13 lbs right now. No more temping, charting, stressing, just loose 13 lbs and then we will go from there. I can totally do that! Zumba here I come!!! I am super stoked about the nutritionist appointment. He said he is pretty sure insurance will pay for it and I can get back to my normal self... well except pregnant :)

In other news, today was officially the last day of school WOO HOO!!!!! I am ready to relax and have fun this summer!

Which do you want... the good news or the bad????

Well I had my blood drawn on Tuesday to check everything since I have been on Metformin for a month. Today the nurse called and asked me a bunch of questions... All of which lead her to tell me that my insulin was sky high... 23 or 28 can't remember but anyway she said it was NOT GOOD. So Dr. H was referring me to a RE. The insulin problem is bad, but the RE referral is actually good cause since it is PCOS related insurance "should" pay for it. I called and made my appointment for Dr. Ke for May 24th. The first available appointment. I am excited yet scared. I am not sure what to expect at all. I am hopeful, but worried that I have developed type 2 diabetes because of the insulin being so high. Who knows... I have 2 weeks until can get some information. I pray that the blood work was just a fluke. We shall see.