Calm after the storm

Well I wish I was talking about all the rain that we were supposed to have last week... but I am not cause we didn't get much at all. (thinking I should have gone into weather predicting though, because apparently you really don't have to know what you are talking about)

Last week was the start to my 10th year teaching... Yes I started teaching when I was 10.. lol (that so sounds like something my mom would say lol) I was super excited about the start of this new year, had FABULOUS feelings that this was going to be the best year yet. Well, the beginning of the week was a tad bit tough. Probably the lack of sleep, more work than used to since I didn't do much this summer, or maybe just trying to get into the swing of things. I was actually in tears on Wednesday and Thursday.

But after all the drama I call back to school funk, I received 2 emails, 1 from a teacher and 1 from my boss thanking me for including one of my sweeties and letting me know they appreciated my positive attitude towards the student and that I have really made a difference in the student's life already, etc... I of course was right back to the bawling. Which leads me to this post.

One of my husband's aunts posted this on face.book earlier today.

Salary of House/Senate .......................$174,00​0 FOR LIFE
Salary of Speaker of the House ............$223,500 FOR LIFE
Salary of Majority/Minority Leaders ...... $193,400 FOR LIFE
Average Salary of a teacher ................ $40,065
Average Salary of Soldier DEPLOYED IN AFGHANISTAN $38,000
I think we found where the cuts should be made! If you agree... RE-Post.

Now, I am in no way shape or form trying to say that teaching is remotely the same as fighting for our country in Iraq or Afghanistan, but it does have some similarities. I think that both are not paid for the amount of work and expertise they both entail. There are always people who want to talk negatively about both... and some positives too, but you don't hear about them as much. But on a topic I know well, I really think that teachers are truly responsible for where everyone goes in life, whether it be Walmart, McDonalds, a law firm, the white house, or even the military. We have a job that should be held with high respect, expectations, and responsibility. I take this responsibility so very seriously. We got our test scores back and had them to review mid week. Well lets just say they momentarily deflated my FABULOUS out look on this school year. "The Test & scores" have become more about the teacher's abilities than what the students have learned. See, no matter how hard you teach, its not you taking that test. There are so many variables. Now, this is not to say my scores were bad, they just weren't what I thought they would be, and because I take my job so seriously, it upset me... A lot actually. I started doubting my teaching. Thinking maybe I was too focused on baby Robbins (of which were all fruitless efforts), or maybe I made too many cakes, or maybe I made some the kiddos nervous. I am a terrible test taker, so I know how important it is to not be stressed. That was darkness trying to set in. And I wont lie, there for about 24 hours, I let it.

So anyway, I am probably preaching to the choir, but teachers have the weight of the world on their shoulders and this week that weight was a little too much for me. Then God saw that it was too much and inserted those sweet kind words to lift me up and let me know that I am making a difference. It isn't just about academics. Its how you make kids feel about themselves, its the fact that you make them feel safe, its about the confidence you give them (even when yours is not 100%), its about making learning fun so they want to do it, its the love for your job no matter how hard or how many GLEs, SPIs, & check for understandings there are to teach in 180 short days (for those non teaching readers GLE - grade level expectations and SPI state performance indicators - the standards we must hit that are tested on state test). I am going to remember these things to help calm me down the next time I wig out about the pressures of teaching. I was born to be a teacher, this is the gift God gave me, and my gift to Him is to do my best and make a difference.

disclaimer - if there are parts that don't make sense, I was watching the Cardinals game and kind of was in an out... I can't fault my kiddos for not staying focused... I can't do it either lol