Sunday, July 25, 2010

God Is giving me the signs I need

Today we made it back to church. It has been a while and it was great! Our series right now is on using animated films to learn lessons that God wants us to learn. Today's message was on our identity determining our destiny and being the real "Morgan" not what everyone tells you you are or aren't. The movie was Meet the Robinsons. Great movie by the way, but the the part that I saw in a different light today was that the main character was living in an orphanage and counted every interview he had. That made me think, God, are you trying to tell me I need to adopt? I have always wanted to adopt after I had my own children but, now it seems that I might have no other choice. I am truly trying to be the me God wants me to be, I just really think he wants me to be a mom too.

After the service my mom completed the right (rite) not sure which one of immersion. Basically, being re-baptized on her own terms this time. It was great to see her do this. We left church and I talked to Robbie about God's signs and such. Another couple at our church who already have children from previous marriages are trying and having trouble also. They each have told us they know it will happen in God's time because he gave them the name of the child. I want to believe that God will give me a sign too... although I have already picked out our names because I am an obsessive compulsive when it comes to anything that has to do will becoming pregnant. So, I told Robbie that I am looking everywhere for the signs as to what God wants our route to be from this point on in our journey to have our own little miracle or miracles if he so wishes us to. We met Robbie's mom for lunch and a run to wally world. When we got back to her house to unload all the stuff she bought, she told me that she was going to give us the money to go through with the iui once I lose the 10 more lbs I have to lose. I told her thank you but that we had already borrowed enough from her at different points for different things. And she completely surprised me by her answer. She told me she wasn't loaning us the money she was giving it to us. She was able to do so and wanted to do it. I am still a little in shock. We would not have been able to save up the money for all the meds, procedures, and such for months. It was seriously going to be next spring maybe summer by the time we had it saved up and she is just willing to give it all to us now to help us.

***Side bar, I was at Linda's house(MIL) earlier this week and was telling her about the news from Dr. K and she didn't even mention that she wanted to help us. Between the time that I was there and today she received a check in the mail for her first time home buyers tax credit. ***

My sweet friend Ellen told me not long after the follow up with Dr. K that God would provide and make this happen if he wanted it to happen. I am just in amazement. I prayed specifically for Him to show me what he wanted me to do, he has. I am do inspired to lose the 10 lbs quickly so that we can start this new adventure.

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Well the results are in...

Well the good news is that I have lots of eggs and they are in great quality. The problem is that I am still not ovulating regularly on my own and Dr. K doesn't want to start clomid til I lose 10 more lbs. That was a super let down. I did so good.. I lost 7 of the the 13 that he wanted me to lose... Thats right when I got on the scale at the Dr. I had lost 7 on their scale... Which means I really had lost probably 10 really, my scale is just off from theirs(sorry for that seriously long run on sentence).

Woo Hoo to weight lose! Boo to having to lose 10 more before our ttc journey goes any further!

Unfortunately, that was not the only surprise of the visit. It seems that the little swimmers count is low... which means doing it the old fashioned way could take years or not happen at all. Dr. K wants us to go the route of IUI since it is cheaper than IVF. It is really not as expensive as I thought it would be. But, it is a lot of money to spend and not get pregnant. I just don't know. I guess losing 10 lbs is a good thing cause it gives us time to decide and figure out which bank to rob... LOL the bank part IS A JOKE!

So now I am just waiting for 6 more days to see if I start on my own or start provera and start losing more weight.

Nervous... Can't sleep

Well It has been a crazy time since I last posted. I was housesitting for my friend's parents for 7 days starting July 4th weekend. Oh man I was so excited cause I was going to have a pool all week and what did I do???? You guessed it.. I was burnt to a freaking crisp the first day. So no pool for me the rest of the week :(

So the end of the week was very momentous. Robbie had his SA and I had a followup to my dietitian. My appointment went great. She was impressed with my 7 lbs loss and that I had embraced what she told me the first visit. Of course the housesitting gig and severe I mean SEVERE sunburn posed some obstacles and now on the scale I might have gained a couple back. But, I am back on the wagon and ready to get to my lucky #13. Robbie said that his appointment was a bit uncomfortable, but got it over with and I 21 questioned him to death about it.

Friday night I babysat for the girls and took them to the Funquest skating rink. Whoa... I stepped into "da club." I was amazed there was not a single song played that wasn't rap. It was while I was there that I realized the RE's office had called around 4:30 and not left a message. I was like omg... Then I realized that the nurse had told me that I couldn't come back for my follow up til he had his SA so maybe that is what they were calling about. We had a busy weekend so it pushed the call to the back of my mind.

So I slept in this morning and woke up to a call from his office. That is what they were calling about. We have our appointment at 10:30 Tuesday ( t- minus 9 hours and 39 min). I am super nervous. I have tried to down play it with Robbie... but I am scared to hear what Dr. K has to say. This is also Robbie's first appointment meeting Dr. K. I have prayed and prayed and its all in God's hands I know. I just can't sleep. I slept after dinner during the thunderstorm and now I am wide awake.

Anyway I will update as soon as I process all that comes of the appointment today.