Thursday, October 27, 2011

Well the verdict is in...

Ok, so I have had one of the hardest weeks this week. First of all, I came back to work after having an entire week off from school for Fall Break, only to be very sick the whole week. I kind of need a break from my break. So anyway, this week is Red Ribbon Week... ie. CRAZY WEEK. Each day the kids have had to dress up differently. Monday was wear red, Tuesday Put a Cap on Drugs- wear a hat (crazy hat), Wednesday Drugs are Tacky (tacky clothes), Today was Team up against Drugs (team Jersey day - GO CARDS!), and get this tomorrow is Rock Star day... Which I find really ironic since most rock stars do drugs. Anyway, this means big headache and stressFUL week.

So at times this week the thoughts on my mind were, where can I go and hide, or Hmmmm, what job can I go to that is not so stressful. These thoughts are really troubling to me. All these years I have known this is what I was born to do. But this week, I am not so sure that I want to do this for the rest of my life.

Anyway, the real reason for this post is to talk about this possible baby boy. Well, I know now that this is not our baby. Finally, my friend decided to share what the nurse had sent her. ( I mean apparently it wasn't thought to be important info... since I had to pry it out of her. Which side bar: this has been a learning experience, keep the people involved to a minimum) Apparently, the expecting mom is thinking she wants to keep the baby now that the nurse isn't going to adopt him. But, if she changes her mind, she wants it to be an open adoption. This might be the right fit for some, but we are not sure that is the route we want to go. So, we are on to interviewing adoption agencies and lawyers and getting this show on the road.

Thank you all for all of your prayers!

Friday, October 21, 2011

It's a Boy!

I want to be excited when saying those words, but the story is a little weird. See the nurse, that is our contact wanted to adopt the baby if it was a girl, is very upset. I completely understand, she wanted it to be a girl so she could adopt. I totally get that. But, her text to my friend was, "I can't talk about it now." This is a very important point in the other three couples lives and she doesn't want to talk about it...

So, with an thankful heart, THANKYOU all for your thoughts and prayers! Please continue to pray that now that we know it is a boy, that maybe just maybe it is supposed to be our boy!

Also please include the nurse in your prayers as she needs strength to move past this. As well as the birthmother for the courage to stay pregnant and help her make the very important decision she will have once she meets with the all the couples.

In other boy news my hubs and I are super excited for our sweet friends who brought a beautiful baby boy into the world this morning! Now their little family of three is a family of four! Baby girl is now a big sister! So happy for them!

Disclaimer: my laptop is on the blink so this is from my phone who is also acting crazy... So hopefully this make some kind of sense. Sorry for typos.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Not there just yet...

No news is good news right??? Or so they say.

Since our prospective BM is getting her prenatal visits free, her appointment at 3 today got moved back. The Dr. was backed up today, so HOPEFULLY tomorrow she will have her gender scan. HOPEFULLY it is a sweet baby boy. And HOPEFULLY the BM chooses us. Will update as soon as I hear either way. Thank you all for all of your prayers!!!

Monday, October 17, 2011

Adoption Profiles, Birthmother Letters, Websites Oh My!!! HELP WANTED!!!

Ok, I know that I am probably putting the cart before the horse, but I am on fall break this week and am thinking this would be a good time to get on the ball with the profile and birthmother letter...

So this is where I am enlisting your help... Did you do it yourself? Use a designer? How much did it cost you? I was just looking at a few sites and am thinking there is no way we can afford the designers... $800 for something I can do on Shutterfly or Pages??? Then of course I am thinking your are paying for the less stressful route. But, we can't afford almost $1000 bucks.... The profiles I really liked were on a site that didn't list the prices... You know they must be very expensive. So, tomorrow, I might be peeling myself off of the floor when the lady emails me back.

Now this is where my flaws come in... I am a perfectionist with certain things... this being one. I also obsess about decision making...again not the best quality when making, what I know and read on a site, is the MOST IMPORTANT thing about adoption. This is going to be my new obsession... Going to have to drop caking making like its hot!

So I know some of you have previously posted about these things, so please give me your advice. I read a good article about what pictures to use and which ones not to use. Makes lots of sense. I almost feel like we need to go have some pictures made of us... we haven't been out there in pics in a while. Last Christmas was the last time we really took more than a few pictures together.

I will be checking this for comments (probably obsessively)... That might help occupy my mind, since we have 2 more days to wait until we find out if this little miracle is a boy or girl, and if we will have the opportunity to interview with the BM or not.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Hopeful Heart

While away this weekend I made the comment man, it would be nice if we could win the money to pay for an adoption... I guess that is when God said NO! We didn't win any money during the trip, but one of my besties was there with me,(to do all of our hair for the wedding) so it was a little easier losing.

When I made the comment, I wont lie we had been drinking a little Fat Tuesdays, she said," well I wasn't going to tell you this, but..." I was immediately in tears...

See in her business she has lots of customers, and connections. Earlier in the week a customer came in and was telling her how at work she had been talking with a patient (she is a nurse practitioner). She talked this girl out of having an abortion and helped her quit smoking. I was like wow that is awesome. She continued telling me, that the girl had a 1 year old and wasn't able to keep this one. (TEARS... then and now thinking about it) She said that the girl was going to put the child up for adoption and that she told the nurse about us and our troubles. She said " please keep my friends in mind for this and/or any others, they want a baby desperately." Side bar, my friend is a true friend, my heart explodes at the thought that she would even care enough to tell the woman we need to be in line for this precious miracle. She wants this for us about as badly as we want it for ourselves.

The nurse told her that the only catch was that if the baby is a girl, she and her husband want to adopt the baby. They have 3 boys at home and want a little girl. But, if it is a boy, we are now in the mix with 2 other couples to maybe get to interview with the birth mom. I am trying not to get too wrapped up in this, but am praying so hard that it is a boy, and that we get a chance to meet this birth mom and show her how much we will love her baby. I have contacted 2 lawyers today to inquire about the process we will go through now or in the future and am waiting to hear back from them both.

I pray that if this child is not a girl or is a boy but we are not the right parents that he or she will be loved and taken care of! Of course I also pray that he is our baby we have been praying for. So, now the waiting game goes... the big day is next wednesday the 19th. So please pray that this is either the next stepping stone in our journey to adoption or the start of our parents -to-be hood.

Either way, For this child, I have prayed!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Viva Las Vegas

I have been a little out of the blogger loop for few days. I made the trek out to Vegas for my friend Amberly's wedding. It was my first time to Vegas, and I am pretty sure it might be the last. OMG can we say EXPENSIVE!!! We stayed at Planet Hollywood and got in A LOT of walking in. The strip is definitely cool, but there are so weirdos out there! I guess I know why they call it Sin City, when you walk outside the hotel there are men and sometimes women handing you cards or flyers with nude women on them. I was like... seriously!?!?

But the wedding was beautiful! She looked amazing, the weather was perfect! One thing I would have liked to burned was my shoes that didn't fit properly, but it was a great time!

I have some super cool news, but am EXHAUSTED right now so I just wanted to update with a couple pics and videos and let you know I was still alive!

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Constant Craving

Nothing like some K.D. Lang and Depeche Mode to help ya worship the Lord on Sunday morning! Thats how we roll at Heartsong. Today the worship band sang two songs that I never really thought you would hear in church, but also that I really hadn't thought about being "churchy." We also sang one of my fav's... Jesus Paid It All.

But, back to Depeche Mode, why had I not actually thought about Jesus when singing the song Personal Jesus??? I mean really if you listen to the lyrics, you will see that it could totally be a message, about not forgetting that Jesus is in control, and when you need him he is there.

We have one of the best worship bands hands down, during the offering today Maggie Lee sang K.D. Lang's Constant craving. I really had never thought about God when this song was a hit so many years ago. Yet again listening to the lyrics... It fits, what we do as Jesus Followers, we crave Jesus. We have to remember, or be reminded that Jesus is a necessity in life. We can't, well I can't make it day to day without Jesus! He paid the ultimate price for my (our) sins and we have to make sure we let him in and constantly seek him. In doing that we can truly seek out the song he has planted in our hearts to sing. AKA Find our Heartsong. Which is our current message series and growth groups.

Today was the start of our growth groups small groups. I think this is going to be a great group. There are 9 of us and we all have different backgrounds and ages. One of our first things to talk about was a time line of our lives, ups and downs, highs and lows throughout our lives that could have lead to where we are today spiritually. It is also to help us see if there are certain places in our lives we might have seen as times that were one way, but maybe they were gifts from God for later in life. (does that make sense?) Anyway, OMG I am such a cry baby! I can't help but cry when I hear some of the time lines at my table as we are sharing. But, the part where God intervened is when the man sitting next to me started telling us about the fact that their girls were all grown up and married when they moved to Memphis, and they were kind of starting over, when they got a call from an adoption agency.... They ended up adopted 3 babies, the youngest is now 15. Man I LOST IT! Ok, God I hear you loud and clear!

Over fall break I am going to actively investigate our best option to start this process. I had originally thought we would start this process once school settled down, then I thought maybe we should wait til the house sells, but I am feeling the nudge that its not in my time, we should start this now.

I hear the Savior say
Thy strength indeed is small
Child of weakness watch and pray
Find in me thine all in all