Tuesday, May 24, 2011

the countdown...

Well, I got to thinking this morning... We are in the home stretch to our 3rd wedding anniversary, 3 weeks to be exact. I can't even believe that we will have been married for 3 whole years.
Of course with that there is also an anniversary that lingers in the shadow... 2/3 of our marriage we have been trying to make a little miracle. That is nuts to me! Here is a picture of us on our vacation right after starting this crazy adventure sometimes call Operation Egg Drop.

Look how happy we look in that picture. We were flying high in hopes that our first month trying we would be blessed with a little one. Yep that's right we picked out names and thought we would be parents in 9 months. I mean after all everyone always said be careful or you will get pregnant. Boy was the joke on us.

I don't personally know that many people that have had to work quiet so hard for any child let alone the first. I do however know that as frustrating and heart breaking this journey is for us, that there are people out there who have had it worse. A friend from college was just blessed this last January after an 11 year journey with many failed ivfs, iuis, etc. I also have 2 friends that have precious twins from ivf after trying for a long time. Which brings me to what I am truly thankful for through all of this disappointment. I am so thankful that there are bloggers out there to share this rough ride with. I am also thankful that there is a bigger awareness of infertility as well as PCOS now. Two of my favorite shows (rules of engagement & Parenthood) have written into the story line problems with getting pregnant. It is a little insight to those who have never had a problem to see how hard it really can be, not that its a true picture, but at least its not swept under carpet. And Biggest Loser has helped people see that PCOS is prevalent in overweight women and can cause infertility issues, after having 2 contestants this season with it. Until this was brought to my attention 1 1/2 years ago, I wasn't aware that an irregular period was a sign, among other things. The wealth of knowledge I know have, (I wish I didn't) now is crazy. Robbie often says that we've been married for 27 years, in some aspects it totally feels like it. I wonder if we hadn't gone through all of this if it would feel like we have been married for just 3 years.

Well, on we go, counting down the days until we can celebrate 3 years of wedded bliss. Wonder how we will do it this year, our first year we celebrated with dinner on our fine china, and then a vacay to the redneck riviera. Last year we spent the night down town and went to ZBB concert. I am thinking this year it will be pretty low key.

Thats all for now... two more days with kiddos at school, then the summer can BEGIN!!!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

laundry laundry laundry...

Oh how I am HATING laundry right now!!! Granted for once in my life I am elated that there are only 2 of us with dirty laundry, but jeez... how much laundry should two grown people have? This post is going to be a hodge-podge because I am trying to kill time on the computer while the iMovie I am trying to publish is publishing (class slide show of the whole year... LONG VIDEO).

So back to laundry, during the initial clean sweep in February I got rid of bookoos of clothes. In fact I thought I got rid of all of my "skinny" clothes. Well, much to my surprise I found some today in my closet that were either hiding or we kept because I hadn't had my Ah YOUR FAT Moment yet. So, now I have another HUGE bag of clothes for the Goodwill. But, while making my closet my new favorite place today, I found a bunch of clothes that had somehow found their way into the back corner of my closet. Now mind you my closet isn't Sex In The City dream closet by any means but, it is bigger than any other in the house. Anyway, I decided they all had to be washed since they were in the dark depths of the closet. Much to my surprise... NOT, my hunka burning love had brought a huge pile from his room when we cleaned it out last week to the laundry room floor. I know what you're asking... Had none of those close found their way into the washing machine??? ALL WEEK???? No, so now I have a pile of probably clean clothes, but needing to be washed again in the floor of my bedroom, while I wash loads of clothes from the floor.... WHERE DID THEY COME FROM??? We literally wear the same 4 or 5 outfits each.

So I had a mini meltdown on the one who loves me so, apparently all I have done to try to get this house in much needed shape, is not seen as much around here. I know that he WILL NOT fold clothes, but wasn't sure why he couldn't at least wash them. Well, I "only cleaned out a closet today and wanted a pat on the back" ... I am pretty sure that he saw as those words were flowing in slow motion out of his mouth that I was going to blow a gasket. And, I did! After yelling, then came crying, then came banging dishes, slamming cabinets, and the comment from the peanut gallery,"you don't have to bang around cause your mad." Do they have amnesia? Quit while you're ahead buddy. Then he kicked it into high gear and helped me by putting dishes in the dishwasher... after I had cleaned the counters, reorganized the cabinets under the island, started more LAUNDRY, and packed a tote for storage.

Now don't get me wrong, he totally has a point when he brings up the fact that on weekdays, the last thing he will see me do is house work, but the weekends are when I have energy to do it. All I wanted was a hey you did a lot today or nice job babe.....

Before he hit the hay, he said, "It looks a lot better in here, night." Sometimes its times like this when my guts want to say, you just can't say what I want to hear can you??? But, I didn't I took it as his way of complementing me and went on with the 5 millionth load of laundry... Oh which contained his work clothes for tomorrow.

I love this man more than life itself, but sometimes I want to slap him.

This is a funny quote I came across, and ain't it the truth??? Off to dry the work clothes...

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.
Hoosier Farmer

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Great Day!

Well, aside from not wanting to get out of bed this morning cause Zeke looked so warm and snuggley... The morning started out great. The sun was shining, Starbucks wasn't wrapped around the building, made it to school early.

The U of Memphis came out to talk with the 11 teachers (including me) who will be mentoring student teachers next year. So, that was interesting to see how much the program has changed since I was in the program. I am so looking forward to next year. I hope my student teacher will be as excited about it as me. When I was in school we only did 1 semester of student teaching. But starting this year, they will be in the school for the entire school year. 1st semester only Mondays and Tuesdays (other than the first week of school). Then second semester they will be there more.

That lasted about 30 mins then I was off to weigh in... This is where my day could go terribly bad or awesomely good. I will be honest, I was expecting the negative. But much to my surprise the scale showed I have lost 8 lbs since the first weigh in... EIGHT POUNDS!!! That is great!!! I am super excited. Biggest Loser last night was a very emotional 2 hours for me. Olivia is my role model for this weight loss and life change. She looks amazing and I really think that she might just win this thing!!! Back to the 8 lbs, this really gives me the push I have been needing!!!

So for our celebration dinner tonight, we are having grilled salmon, green beans, and brown rice. Oh and weight watchers cookie dough dessert... I love those things!!!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Not the best 24 hours...

first, another pregnancy announcement, another 3rd pregnancy, another born in November. ENOUGH SAID

second, newest house motivation sold... in a freaking week. :( Only hope ours will sell that quickly.

third, Biggest Loser tonight was GREAT!!! Of course I was a blubbering idot... Thank goodness Robster was in bed ( hurt is back so you know its the worst back pain ever and I "just don't understand it"). Its just so close to home. And both girls in the top two have a lot in common with my story, I just hope and pray my happy ending is a sweet as theirs!!!

weigh-in in the am and this past weekend was NOT GOOD on the healthy front. I was ready to weigh in on Friday cause that is when I thought we were supposed to, and nope some time this week. So we shall see.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Operation Sell This House....

Well, as you all know from reading the blog that we are looking to move and put our house on the market blah blah blah....

Well this past week was the week for houses to be bought and or go into foreclosure. There were about 4 houses on my favorites list on Crye-Leike site either were marked contract pending (SHOOT!!!) or no longer listed (DANG!!!). Luckily I have found a couple others that can keep my desire to get out of the dirty dova going :) lol *Side note, some friends bought one of the ones I loved, so at least I know the people living in it are great people ;)*

Anyway, so I told the Hubs that we had to get it in gear so that maybe we would be able to sell and find a home that we could have our family over for Thanksgiving. I don't know why I have always wanted to have a bigger house for family holidays, but I have. I know it sounds silly, but I want to have family dinners at my house not always have to go to everyone else's house. Not to mention it would be nice to give the Mom's a free pass for a few holiday dinners.

Back to the reason for the post, I bird walk too much lol. We tackled the garage yesterday. It really was a major eye sore. In fact I am still wondering if our neighbor across the street was really just that bored or was tired of seeing it when the garage door was up, because he came over and helped us clean it up and take stuff to the storage place. We filled our garbage can, his garbage can, and about 3 super big garbage bags with stuff that was for the most part trash. Not things that we would want to keep, things that got broken from other things being stacked on top of it, etc. Unfortunately, the dust and such did a number on my allergies :( So, I will be starting this week with my manly raspy voice and sneezing fits that are super annoying. The fact that I could park my car in there now is worth every stupid sneeze. haha

Today we tackled the closet in the guest room. That is where the hubs is supposed to hang his clothes. Well, he is still in that college boy live out of the dryer or pile of clothes on the floor phase. So this guest room has been a thorn in my side for a while. Back at the beginning of this whole adventure we went through the piles and got rid alot. But, with painting rooms and such some piles had formed again. So while I went through my life in photographs tub from the closet hubs when through clothes to give to goodwill or wash... How do you know if they are clean or not??? In the end the closet is now one that can be opened by prospective buyers, and admired for the space. :)

I was also on a mission to get the few last things done to the former Tiger Blue room turned Black and White Chic room. That room is now the only room completely cleaned, organized, & staged for buyers. So, without further ado here are the pics:

I love the way the bedding looks in the room. It is cheaply made, but I expected that when I bought the whole set for 30 bucks on Macy's.com. I copied and pasted some pics of Paris from google and had them printed as photos. Those are the black and white pictures in the frames on the wall. The photos were like 50 cents and I had the frames already. I had a mission style black side table from the Tiger Blue room that was repurposed as a bedside table. The candle sticks were a Christmas present from a students that I was trying to sell in my garage sale. I did have to buy the candles, but that cost was minimal.

The curtains were the previous ones. I did by the lamp on the bed side table. The round mirrors were a steal at Home Depot for like $15 bucks. We bought the little laptop table at Walmart. And last but not least we were able to reuse the floor lamp we had in there previously. All in all I might have spent a Ben Franklin on the whole room.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Who knew my life could be defined by 2 little lines...

I never would have thought that so much would fall on two lines. Back in early years of high school and college, those finding the two little lines were not always happy about it. In some ways, back then those two little lines could ruin your reputation, make you the talk of the town, or even make you even think you life was over. Everyone was scared of the thought of being pregnant before you were married and such.

Fast forward a few years, college was over, and I looking for my hunka, hunka, burning love. I thought, oh I want kiddos, but was not worried about it cause it would happen when I got married and was ready for all of that responsibility.

A few years later I found him. So,...
Husband.... Check
1st Anniversary.... Check
Let's get this ball rolling!!! HELLO I am married... Why is this not working???

Well who knew, after all those girls earlier in life and now make it look so easy, it isn't just a roll in the hay so to speak to get those two little lines.

I truly was over the two lines after seeing so many single lines... UNTIL THIS MOTHER'S DAY.

I guess I really hadn't thought too much about it other then when people make their announcements, but then all of the sudden its Mother's Day and I am NOT a mother... All of my close friends around me are in fact mothers... I don't even know if I can BE a mother. I mean I have no way of knowing other than FAITH that I will be pregnant one day. Now I didn't throw a pity party, in fact (in a very PROUD voice) I didn't even cry. But, a few sweet friends thought about this and me on Mother's Day with thinking of you texts and messages.

So right now, I will not let those lines define who I am, I am a mother to my sweet puppy and 23 little 4th graders who depend on my guidance as their mom while at school with me. One day in the future I will celebrate Mother's Day as a parent. For the time being, I will be fine!

On the weight loss front, I am nervous, our second weigh in is on Friday... I haven't been so great in the past week. I am just looking for loss, because this summer its going to be on, and I will have so much more time to devote to it.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Happy Mother's Day!

In honor of Mother's Day, I thought I would write about my mother.

And everyone that sees you always wants to know you
And everyone that knows you always has a smile
You're a standing ovation after years of waiting
For a chance to fall and shine
Everyone calls you amazing yeah, I just call you mine
- Martina McBride

Barbara Mayo is my loving Mother! I don't know what I would do without her, she is always there for me. She gives me advice, sometimes even when I don't ask for it. lol She is funny, caring, kind, and always thinking of others before herself (sometimes to her own detriment). She has always done everything in her power to make sure that I have everything I could ever need and want. I am so proud to call her mom!!! She is a shining example of what a mom should be.

My only hope is that one day I will have a daughter who feels the same way about me as I do my mom!

I love you Mom!!!