Monday, January 31, 2011

My Cup Runneth Over...

Man how the year has gone by so fast. Don't get me wrong, there were times where I thought time was standing still, but this time last year I had just begun my blogging adventure. I was almost healed from my sinus surgery, I don't recommend that to anyone lol. I had about 10 days off of work so this gave me something to do while I was recooperating. A few friends had blogs that I had read and thought what the heck. So I started writing and kept on writing.

I love the fact that this last year has been chronicled. I love scrapbooking, but lets face it, who has the time for that, and many of my blogs weren't scrapbooking material. It makes me realize how strong of a person I am. Through all of the last (almost 2 years) I have grown to be a completely different person. At times I didn't recognize myself, INFERTILITY will do that to you. But at other times, I am so proud of how I have handled things with God's help as well as people praying for me. But anyway, I know many folks use their blogs in many different ways.
  • One - to keep people updated on their lives and families. Well, I kind of do that at times.
  • Two - as a sounding board about issues going on. Yep, kind of do that too.
  • Three - to chronicle your life as it is happening. kind of the same as #1
  • Four - to share struggles with others with like struggles. I try to do that, and think I do with some peeps.
  • Five - to rant about how unfair things are. I too have done this at times. But, try to stay away from being negative all the time.
  • I could go on forever...
No matter the reason I post when I do, I am so glad that a sweet friend told me about blogging and that I embarked on this adventure. I know one day in the future I will have a sweet little bundle in my arms reading all my posts thinking, that all the waiting, the keeping my faith, and the praying like heck got me through the long and winding road with a great big reward in the end. Then I will become an obnoxious poster, plastering my baby all over this blog!!!

So, in the words from one of my favorite movies (Hope Floats) and the Bible, one year into Blogging.... My cup runneth over! (Psalm 23:5)

Thursday, January 20, 2011

God is Great, Beer is Good, & People are CRAZY

You know I have really been surprised at people lately. I mean I know we are very self - centered country, but jeeze some people can't see beyond them selves. Unfortunately, its is those self - centered people who cause most of the turmoil in the the world today.

First, we have some people some stupid (yes I said that) people in the city we live in. This whole school consolidation issue has really been worrying me. Apparently the City of Memphis and MCS are the only people in the county that should have a say in sending our schools down the toilet. It just makes me crazy. I am one of those people who crave playing by the rules or not playing. Fairness is big with me. THIS IS NOT FAIR!!!! Not a single person has talked about what will happen to the kids and their education with a super-sized school system. In a world where, "Do you want fries with that?" Super sizing seems to be a bad thing every angle you look at it. We are about to embark on a route straight to kids working at McD's for the rest of their lives. The uncertainty is really want kills me. I am NOT a quitter. I have always tried to finish things no matter how badly I wanted to quit. MCS school board seems to be ok on quitting the children, but then want to take over our school system. WHAT??????? Are they MENTAL????? If ever you have prayed for MCS please do so as hard as you can right now, as well as the miss informed citizens who are jumping on a band wagon of miss-information. This is crucial!!!

Ok, we all know that we have been on a roller coaster ride this last 20 months of our lives trying desperately for a little miracle from God. Well, along this ride I have been on many ebbs and flows. It does get discouraging. There are times in the past that I have been down right distraught. Yes, I want to have my baby in my arms. But, it just isn't time yet. God's time is not ours to judge. It has taken me a long 20 months to come to grips with that. There were many times when I had (or so I thought) given it to God and then realized I was still trying to control it. Well, there are people out there who have made it harder for those who aren't pregnant and those who are trying to tell those who aren't.

Its hard enough for both parties to exchange the info, I mean its an awkward convo to have. But then there are people who make the non pregnant ones out to be tyrants who will hate you if you tell them which scares the preggos. We (infer tiles) already feel like we are one eyed aliens for not being able to join the pregnant world. The last thing we want is for people to walk around on eggshells around us. Well, at some point someone decided that pity for us is what they needed to have. Well, I might be speaking for myself and myself only, but I have never been mad at anyone who has become pregnant during our troubles. But, being out there, there have been many people who have become pregnant, (always seems like everyone when you are trying and not getting pregnant), that have been scared or worried to tell me. One person even apologized in advance for getting pregnant before me. At first I was worried it was the way I acted around them. Don't get me wrong, I have been sad to find out for me, but never for the mom to be. It seems that too many people these days think that it is all about them, um... no, its about being happy for the mom and baby to be. So, I realized it wasn't me at all, its those who have come before me, the ones who tell others they are mad that someone is pregnant and not them, or those who quit being around because the friend is pregnant.

Disclaimer - this is not meant to hurt anyone's feeling(as I know some people do), this is just an observation that I have had. It just sucks that I have friends who are lead to believe that I am going to take the news a certain way because of others. When all I want to do is be happy for them, be excited, and a friend.

I have come to realize 2 things. 1 - God is in control, deal with it. "With God all things are possible" didn't mean when we wanted them to be possible. Maybe I won't be a mother of my own biological kids one day, but I know that God will make it possible for me to be a mom to someone. 2- We need to get out of Shelby County before we are taxed to death with the backwards ways of the consolidation concept.

So to sum it up, in the words of Billy Currington, God is Great, Beer is Good (I'm drinking one now), and People are CRAZY!!!

Monday, January 10, 2011

SNOW DAY!!!

If you have ever heard that teachers are worse then kids when it comes to snow days.... it is SO TRUE!!! I have been trying to keep myself in check about the snow. I really didn't think it was going to really happen. Well it has! Man oh man! The buzz on Facebook started around 5 or so this afternoon. Well we finally started seeing the white stuff around 6pm.

Zeke watched and watched until he finally saw some snow. This where he ended up so he could see out the window.

Not that he really knows what it is, but he did sit at the window watching it like he knew what was going on.
When we let him out to go to the bathroom, he rooted around in the snow, nose it in the air, and run around. He is just like a little kid too, he would come in and with in about 5 minutes he was ready to go back out. It is hilarious.

This morning we got up so the 2 kiddos, one dog and one adult. Robbie was just as excited to get up and see the snow as Zeke. He said that he woke up every hour. I on the other hand slept like a rock. But, we were up at 9 am ready to go play in the snow.
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Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year

Well, I am hoping this is going to be a Happy new year. It has to be better than the last. I started my new years eve visiting a sweet friend at Baptist Women's Hospital to welcome her sweet Caroline to this world. Caroline was so perfect in every way. She has the cutest button nose ever! She also has the most hair I have ever seen ever, complete with a little bow. After holding that precious thing, I went to eat with the sweet friend that accompanied me to the hospital. We had a great time catching up and gossiping.

We attended our annual NYE party at my best friend Jessica's house. It was a great time had by all. It was fun to unwind and catch up with friends that we don't get to see on a daily basis. The only negative of the night was there isn't a decent countdown in Memphis on TV. We had to make our own.

Now, that is where my night turned way sideways. I had thought I was over the initial sadness of the last ttc disappointment. I think I might have just swept it under the carpet to get through the holidays because after the NYE kiss, I cried. And cried. And couldn't stop crying. I cried for about an hour and 1/2 til we got home and in bed. I guess sometimes you just need to get it out. But, I tend to be weepy like that and the simplest thing makes me cry. So, I guess my new year didn't really start they way I had it playing out in my mind. But, I did have my sweet husband and my very best friend in the whole wide world there to comfort me, cry with me, and just be there for me.

I pray that this year is much better than the last for everyone. I know that it will be and God will continue to bless each and every one of us.