On a positive note (last post, I was pretty negative nelly), our sweet friends had their precious baby girl this morning around 6:30. I probably sound like a total contradiction when I type what I am about to type, but here goes anyway...
That baby took all the negative feelings away. I know it is so ridiculous that I can be so upset about random people I don't even know at all being pregnant, but friends who are pregnant fly me over the moon(maybe that is just God's way of keeping me sane who knows). But I am! So I got a little sweet thing fix this afternoon. She is so perfect that you know, only God himself could have made her. She makes the sweetest little noises when she sleeps. I was so excited we got to the hospital during a lull and there was no one there and we both got to hold her as long as we wanted. I took pictures like she was my own. Holding her was such a treat. She was so warm (hot actually they are like little heaters lol) and light as a feather ( 6lbs. 13 oz.).
For about 2 hours today I didn't covet what anyone else had, I was purely happy for their sweet family and the opportunity to love on that sweet little human being. We got to watch the video of her being born (truly the most amazing thing I have ever witnessed in all of my life, is the birth of a sweet little gift from God) she only pushed like 4 times, hear the story from beginning to end of the contractions, epidural, etc., and dote on her. It was fabulous. Not one time during this 2 hour period did I even think about wishing it was us, or our baby, etc. Thank You God, for that! Maybe that is just what I needed to see and be a part of. Maybe the fact that most of my friends are pregnant is truly a gift from God to me (to them too of course lol).
Still, when we went to dinner afterwards, I didn't even think about oh man I wish that was us. To me, I think this is a testament of how God hears our prayers and answers them. Not 24 hours after my cry out to him about helping me through this, he brought this sweet little gift into the world and said here you go. I am here with you. I continue to do miraculous things in your life and the lives of others.
Man I am in awe of you God! Congrats to our sweet friends who are starting a new chapter in their lives together as a Family of three (six if you count their dogs) :)
PS: Doesn't that sweet hubby of mine look like he is going to be a natural one day? :)