Things that make you go Hmmm...

So at many different times in my life I have noticed peoples actions and wonders wth??? In my experience I have taken what people say and do as good examples or not so hot examples. Why is it that as we get older some people grow older too and then there are those who seem to be stuck in egocentric mode or highschool stupidity. I am sure this is only a question that God himself could begin to explain to me.

I know as women we are prone to drama whether we like it or not, but come on folks we are in our thirties... Well some of us( I know some of you reading this aren't... But you are close lol) recently I was exposed to this type of behavior from the male persuasion... Really? How old are we? Is it really cool at 30 or more to make fun of your friend? I have found that thing we thought were hilarious at 20 are just not anymore.

Another thing I wonder is that if we continue to repeat something over and over are we trying to convince ourselves or are we trying convince others??? If we are excited about something but put a but blah blah blah in there to follow, are we really excited or we just trying to make ourselves feel better. This is kind of what leads me to my next hmmm...

Last but not least, yes I have given up trying for a baby right now, truly because I feel like God has pushed me in a different direction. But I still have feelings about it. I have overwhelming excitement for friends who are pregnant. Sure I do have moments where I wish it were me but, others I just wish those who were pregnant wouldn't share quite so much. Now, I don't mean to offend anyone who is pregnant and I am happy and have joy in my heart for you and your baby. I know sometimes people say that only a mother would understand... Well I think only a person who has really had trouble with getting or staying pregnant can understand where I am coming from. I think we(fertility
challenged) get a bad rap for not being happy or are seen as jealous but really it just is like putting salt in an open wound to hear every detail of the pregnancy.

But enough about that, I have two friends/ family who have had a terrible time at this adventure but both have been blessed with a sweet
little gift and I am just completely overjoyed for them both. One was a product of IVF and the other have been blessed with the ability to
stay pregnant. I have prayed and prayed for both couples and it gives me great joy to know the prayers are working. :)

I just needed to get that off my chest. Was going to post more pictures and post about the kitchen being done, but can't do it from my phone and now look where I went. Guess that was weighing on me, yep that was my rant post for the month lol

DIY Robbins Style Part 1

Well as you have read, we are trying desperately to get our house market ready so we can sell that joker and move on to greener pastures. Well without Internet I haven't been able to update much... So today is the day that I will post some pics of the projects. We we still haven't grouted the tile, have a room and and a bathroom to paint, and the list could go on.

Guest Bathroom Tiled

Mid Backsplash Tile Job

Kitchen Backsplash Tiled

Master Bath Vanity area before (carpet)

Toilet & Bath Area Before (linoleum)

Master Closet before (carpet)

Closet pre - grout

Vanity Area pre - grout

Closet completed

Toilet and Bath Area Complete

We have also ripped up the carpet in the hallway, and tiled the hallway, kitchen, pantry and laundry room. Pictures soon! We had the exterior of the house painted, have painted the master, guest, and are in the process of finishing painting the office. Once we get those rooms finished I will post pics of those, and hopefully there will be a FOR SALE sign and a St. Joseph's statue burried in the yard!!!

Much needed update... Short and sweet style

Well since a few folks have pointed out that I've been MIA, here is a very quick update.

* we cancelled our Internet so I'm typing this on my phone(can we say INCONVENIENT)
But since we have no internet I haven't been blogging

* nope not pregnant... Although it is in the water, but I've been drinking kool aid.. Lol

* we are in full chaos mode with getting our house ready for the market. Also contributing the MIAness

* I originally gave up bread for Lent, but decided I am giving up the want for a baby. That is much harder for me. I can't imagine that we were put on Earth and were not supposed to be parents, but at this point I am starting to think that maybe I'm wrong. I know you are supposed to give something up that will cause you some sort of suffrage. Well there you go! But I have added deep prayer for those who are or longing to become pregnant. I figure if I'm not going to be a parent I should focus my prayer and energy on people who are chosen to have little gifts from God.

I am apologizing now for typos and such. Typing on an iPhone that loves to change my words lol
Once life gets less hectic I will try to resume blogging! I miss it so much!!!

My Cup Runneth Over...

Man how the year has gone by so fast. Don't get me wrong, there were times where I thought time was standing still, but this time last year I had just begun my blogging adventure. I was almost healed from my sinus surgery, I don't recommend that to anyone lol. I had about 10 days off of work so this gave me something to do while I was recooperating. A few friends had blogs that I had read and thought what the heck. So I started writing and kept on writing.

I love the fact that this last year has been chronicled. I love scrapbooking, but lets face it, who has the time for that, and many of my blogs weren't scrapbooking material. It makes me realize how strong of a person I am. Through all of the last (almost 2 years) I have grown to be a completely different person. At times I didn't recognize myself, INFERTILITY will do that to you. But at other times, I am so proud of how I have handled things with God's help as well as people praying for me. But anyway, I know many folks use their blogs in many different ways.

• One - to keep people updated on their lives and families. Well, I kind of do that at times.
• Two - as a sounding board about issues going on. Yep, kind of do that too.
• Three - to chronicle your life as it is happening. kind of the same as #1
• Four - to share struggles with others with like struggles. I try to do that, and think I do with some peeps.
• Five - to rant about how unfair things are. I too have done this at times. But, try to stay away from being negative all the time.
• I could go on forever...

No matter the reason I post when I do, I am so glad that a sweet friend told me about blogging and that I embarked on this adventure. I know one day in the future I will have a sweet little bundle in my arms reading all my posts thinking, that all the waiting, the keeping my faith, and the praying like heck got me through the long and winding road with a great big reward in the end. Then I will become an obnoxious poster, plastering my baby all over this blog!!!

So, in the words from one of my favorite movies (Hope Floats) and the Bible, one year into Blogging.... My cup runneth over! (Psalm 23:5)

God is Great, Beer is Good, & People are CRAZY

You know I have really been surprised at people lately. I mean I know we are very self - centered country, but jeeze some people can't see beyond them selves. Unfortunately, its is those self - centered people who cause most of the turmoil in the the world today.

First, we have some people some stupid (yes I said that) people in the city we live in. This whole school consolidation issue has really been worrying me. Apparently the City of Memphis and MCS are the only people in the county that should have a say in sending our schools down the toilet. It just makes me crazy. I am one of those people who crave playing by the rules or not playing. Fairness is big with me. THIS IS NOT FAIR!!!! Not a single person has talked about what will happen to the kids and their education with a super-sized school system. In a world where, "Do you want fries with that?" Super sizing seems to be a bad thing every angle you look at it. We are about to embark on a route straight to kids working at McD's for the rest of their lives. The uncertainty is really want kills me. I am NOT a quitter. I have always tried to finish things no matter how badly I wanted to quit. MCS school board seems to be ok on quitting the children, but then want to take over our school system. WHAT??????? Are they MENTAL????? If ever you have prayed for MCS please do so as hard as you can right now, as well as the miss informed citizens who are jumping on a band wagon of miss-information. This is crucial!!!

Ok, we all know that we have been on a roller coaster ride this last 20 months of our lives trying desperately for a little miracle from God. Well, along this ride I have been on many ebbs and flows. It does get discouraging. There are times in the past that I have been down right distraught. Yes, I want to have my baby in my arms. But, it just isn't time yet. God's time is not ours to judge. It has taken me a long 20 months to come to grips with that. There were many times when I had (or so I thought) given it to God and then realized I was still trying to control it. Well, there are people out there who have made it harder for those who aren't pregnant and those who are trying to tell those who aren't.

Its hard enough for both parties to exchange the info, I mean its an awkward convo to have. But then there are people who make the non pregnant ones out to be tyrants who will hate you if you tell them which scares the preggos. We (infer tiles) already feel like we are one eyed aliens for not being able to join the pregnant world. The last thing we want is for people to walk around on eggshells around us. Well, at some point someone decided that pity for us is what they needed to have. Well, I might be speaking for myself and myself only, but I have never been mad at anyone who has become pregnant during our troubles. But, being out there, there have been many people who have become pregnant, (always seems like everyone when you are trying and not getting pregnant), that have been scared or worried to tell me. One person even apologized in advance for getting pregnant before me. At first I was worried it was the way I acted around them. Don't get me wrong, I have been sad to find out for me, but never for the mom to be. It seems that too many people these days think that it is all about them, um... no, its about being happy for the mom and baby to be. So, I realized it wasn't me at all, its those who have come before me, the ones who tell others they are mad that someone is pregnant and not them, or those who quit being around because the friend is pregnant.

Disclaimer - this is not meant to hurt anyone's feeling(as I know some people do), this is just an observation that I have had. It just sucks that I have friends who are lead to believe that I am going to take the news a certain way because of others. When all I want to do is be happy for them, be excited, and a friend.

I have come to realize 2 things. 1 - God is in control, deal with it. "With God all things are possible" didn't mean when we wanted them to be possible. Maybe I won't be a mother of my own biological kids one day, but I know that God will make it possible for me to be a mom to someone. 2- We need to get out of Shelby County before we are taxed to death with the backwards ways of the consolidation concept.

So to sum it up, in the words of Billy Currington, God is Great, Beer is Good (I'm drinking one now), and People are CRAZY!!!

SNOW DAY!!!

If you have ever heard that teachers are worse then kids when it comes to snow days.... it is SO TRUE!!! I have been trying to keep myself in check about the snow. I really didn't think it was going to really happen. Well it has! Man oh man! The buzz on Facebook started around 5 or so this afternoon. Well we finally started seeing the white stuff around 6pm.

Zeke watched and watched until he finally saw some snow. This where he ended up so he could see out the window.

Not that he really knows what it is, but he did sit at the window watching it like he knew what was going on.

When we let him out to go to the bathroom, he rooted around in the snow, nose it in the air, and run around. He is just like a little kid too, he would come in and with in about 5 minutes he was ready to go back out. It is hilarious.

This morning we got up so the 2 kiddos, one dog and one adult. Robbie was just as excited to get up and see the snow as Zeke. He said that he woke up every hour. I on the other hand slept like a rock. But, we were up at 9 am ready to go play in the snow.

Happy New Year

Well, I am hoping this is going to be a Happy new year. It has to be better than the last. I started my new years eve visiting a sweet friend at Baptist Women's Hospital to welcome her sweet Caroline to this world. Caroline was so perfect in every way. She has the cutest button nose ever! She also has the most hair I have ever seen ever, complete with a little bow. After holding that precious thing, I went to eat with the sweet friend that accompanied me to the hospital. We had a great time catching up and gossiping.

We attended our annual NYE party at my best friend Jessica's house. It was a great time had by all. It was fun to unwind and catch up with friends that we don't get to see on a daily basis. The only negative of the night was there isn't a decent countdown in Memphis on TV. We had to make our own.

Now, that is where my night turned way sideways. I had thought I was over the initial sadness of the last ttc disappointment. I think I might have just swept it under the carpet to get through the holidays because after the NYE kiss, I cried. And cried. And couldn't stop crying. I cried for about an hour and 1/2 til we got home and in bed. I guess sometimes you just need to get it out. But, I tend to be weepy like that and the simplest thing makes me cry. So, I guess my new year didn't really start they way I had it playing out in my mind. But, I did have my sweet husband and my very best friend in the whole wide world there to comfort me, cry with me, and just be there for me.

I pray that this year is much better than the last for everyone. I know that it will be and God will continue to bless each and every one of us.