Friday, April 29, 2011

The one I call Best Friend...

Through out your life you meet many people you think are worthy of your friendship. Some are just that, others not so much. I have been truly blessed to have many many friends in my 31 years, and I have seen some come and stay for a little while, and some stay for a long while. I had friends from childhood that even through the years we keep up, then those that I might hear from every once in a while. Then of course there are those I wonder what the heck are they doing now??? I had the best friends from high school that I was going to have in my wedding... Then graduation came a long and we all went our separate ways. Some of those friends have come back in my life years later, others haven't.

In college I met so many new friends, DG friends, U of M Athletic friends, dorm friends, education friends, etc. When joining DG I heard all about the life long friends that you will meet... I thought it was cool, but wasn't sure if that was the case.

I think that many people are friends for many different reasons. Some want to be like you, some want to be better than you, some just want a warm body in their corner, and then some just want to be there for you with you, beside you when you need them not just when they need you.

I think nowadays there is a misconception of what a TRUE friend is. I think many people think as long as they know you they are friends with you. Others feel like if you have ever hung out then you have a life long relationship going. Some think you are a true friend if you just have fun with them. Well the definition of friend is as follows:
a person attached to another by feelings of affection orpersonal regard.
a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends ofthe Boston Symphony.
a person who is on good terms with another; a person whois not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?
a member of the same nation, party, etc.

When I stop to think about all of the people I call my best friends, there are some that fall under all of the above, and then there are some that don't really fit all of them. I tend to give my all to my friends because it is the right thing to do. I don't always get that in return. But, it isn't all about what I get out of it, after all it is better to give then receive.

So back to college... that was the time that I met the friend that I totally clicked with and would never have known at that time how close we would be. DG was doing spring rush, which wasn't a norm for us and a pledge sister invited a girl from one of her science classes. I thought she was nice, a bit loud, but hey she was probably nervous. I didn't really think much about it until I was asked to be her big sister instead of another girl that I originally was supposed to take as a lil sis. Well, our first encounter was in the Tiger Den. I was going to buy her lunch, except she seemed to be GAGA over this guy and he bought her lunch. I really didn't get a word in edgewise that day. I began to think great, I am stuck with "this girl." Well, next was big sis revealment. It was a little akward... but I was going to get to know her. And by the time she was initiated, I was starting to see that we were going to be great friends, although the boy was ALWAYS there. lol

Fast forward some time, and She and I were developing a friendship that was not like most. She and I could go out and have a blast, she and I were there for each other through thick and thin, crying, laughing, acting goofy. Wether it be hanging out at her tiny little apartment, or driving to DC to spend our spring break at her parents house, we were always together.

Well, that boy would ask her to marry him and then we got to be even closer planning her wedding. It was super fun getting to plan her wedding with her, kind of my first rodeo of many too come ;) I remember thinking, man I am so happy for her, even a little proud, because I had watched their relationship blossom from the beginning. Not long after her wedding, she found out she was pregnant. OMG I remember the phone call vividly, because I thought someone had died. She was a basket case, and at that time I was just telling her, at least your married. It's not so bad...

9 months later she asked me to be in the room when sweet little one was born. This was yet another time that we became even closer. She thought so much of me that she allowed me the opportunity to support her on this big day, but also take part in the miracle of life (I tear up thinking about that night, it was truly AMAZING). I was the first person other than the doctors to hold this precious miracle. Never in a million years would I have known then what an impact that made on me at that point. Not long after my best friend broke the news that she was moving her family to DC. I was devastated. It came right at the end of my college experience, the beginning of my teacher life. I needed her so badly, but it was the best move for her family.

Now at this point, it could have been the end of that chapter and one we both went our separate ways. But, neither of us wanted that to be the end. I had a big girl job now and could go visit every chance I could. A few years of trips back and forth and she called to tell me she was having another baby. This time I was not able to be there for the gender ultrasound, or showers... So, her parents flew me up to surprise her. It was the best day. Sweet little one was born a few months before my next trip.

Fast forward yet again, I get a phone call to say GUESS WHAT... we are moving back. This time I saw the house they were buying before she did. I wasn't impressed, but the hubs talked her into it. It looked much like a money pit to me at the time. But this is where I must insert that her faith and trust in her husband and her ability to take a risk just amazed me. I hoped and prayed that one day I would get the opportunity to trust and put my faith in someone like she did.

The first year back I was like mom no.2 while she traveled more days out the week than she was home. It was at that point (now looking back) that she was sad that she wasn't there for all the moments I shared with her little ones. But, me being there for her helped ease the tug of war that she was dealing with. She was promoted a little while later and was home. Just in time for elementary school.

It was so wonderful to have her so close. We were able to chat on the phone and hang out face to face. She was there for me when relationships began, were rocky, and ended. she always was there to listen, give advice, and make me feel better. Then one day, I met my boy. I had to have her and the hubs approval... and they liked him, almost more than me at first. lol Now it was my turn. Wedding planning, she stood right in the same place as I did for her, on my wedding day. She gave the most heartfelt, and special toast at my reception.

Fast forward, she was there when my first few months of TTC weren't working. She was there to listen, not really know what it was like, but she didn't pretend to know. I needed that. She prayed and prayed that we would have a baby. She was there for every step of the iui process, even when I couldn't talk about the fact that it didn't work. She really just listened. She never tried to smooth it over or turn the attention away from my feelings.

I love her so much, its like she is blood relative really.

Well, a few weeks ago, she called me, and I knew from her voice of excitement she was pregnant. Man, it really honestly sent me into a tail spin, but I was so happy for her. She always wanted to have bunch of kiddos. But, the most important thing to me was, that I was the one she wanted to tell before she told her parents and other friends. She wanted to share this with me... I was honored.

She ended up going to the doctor early, due to some stuff. And they saw two sacs but only one baby. I was so worried for her. She was super upset, totally understandable. I prayed so hard that everything would be ok. Well the prayers worked, when they went back this week, there were 2 sacs and 2 heartbeats. She is having twins. This is where I was reminded just how true a friend she is, she is so attached to my emotions, she wanted to tell me but knew it was going to hurt. She and I had a little cry about how life has taken us or not taken us where we want to go. But, with her I can say I feel "xyz" and she understands and/or gives me a pass. You don't find this everyday.

I thank God Jess came into my life when she did and has stayed for always. I know that God hand picked her just for me. I don't know that many can say they have a truly fabulous and wonderful friend like I have. I hope and pray that this pregnancy goes as well as her two previous. And maybe in some way, God is giving her twins so I can again be there for her, because hey, she is going to need more hands :)

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