But in reading these, I completely identify with Hannah. In her story you truly see the pain that infertility caused her. I feel that pain. I pray to God every moment of the day that he will make us parents. I sometimes get lost in the longing for a baby and lose sight of what all I do have. It is at times like those that I have to refocus my thoughts. I am truly blessed with so many blessing. Why can't I just be blessed with this one. I think along this rocky roller coaster I have longed for a baby more than my husband. Thank goodness I snapped out of that. But it is so easy to go to that dark place.
Elizabeth was another, older barren woman. Who later once she had given up on children was blessed with a very important son, John the Baptist. I know it makes reference that God only blessed Elizabeth and Zechariah with baby John when they basically had given up. I have so been there. But, the fact that it still hurts and is a constant on my mind makes me think, I truly haven't given up. I mean after all, I have to have hope that I will be a mother one day. I don't think I can let go to that hope.
The third is Sarah, wife of Abraham. Again we have the story of the woman who was married for many years and was eventually to "old" to have children. But God came to Abraham and said that he would have a son, and she laughed because she over heard him telling Abraham this. She was like SERIOUSLY? Now that I am too old... Really. I pray that I am meant to be like Sarah. But, at this point if I ever take a test and it is positive, this really would be my reaction. Its almost too good to be true, or at least that is how I feel right now.
Who am I of these women? Who do I long to be? I am a little of all of these women(minus being old, even though I aint' getting any younger)and long to be a mother, the part that all three of these women were able to be. So, for now I will continue to pray to God like Hannah and beg him to make me a mother to a son or daughter. I will try to give it up to him like Elizabeth, and will try to find humor like Sarah.