My Cup Runneth Over...

Man how the year has gone by so fast. Don't get me wrong, there were times where I thought time was standing still, but this time last year I had just begun my blogging adventure. I was almost healed from my sinus surgery, I don't recommend that to anyone lol. I had about 10 days off of work so this gave me something to do while I was recooperating. A few friends had blogs that I had read and thought what the heck. So I started writing and kept on writing.

I love the fact that this last year has been chronicled. I love scrapbooking, but lets face it, who has the time for that, and many of my blogs weren't scrapbooking material. It makes me realize how strong of a person I am. Through all of the last (almost 2 years) I have grown to be a completely different person. At times I didn't recognize myself, INFERTILITY will do that to you. But at other times, I am so proud of how I have handled things with God's help as well as people praying for me. But anyway, I know many folks use their blogs in many different ways.

• One - to keep people updated on their lives and families. Well, I kind of do that at times.
• Two - as a sounding board about issues going on. Yep, kind of do that too.
• Three - to chronicle your life as it is happening. kind of the same as #1
• Four - to share struggles with others with like struggles. I try to do that, and think I do with some peeps.
• Five - to rant about how unfair things are. I too have done this at times. But, try to stay away from being negative all the time.
• I could go on forever...

No matter the reason I post when I do, I am so glad that a sweet friend told me about blogging and that I embarked on this adventure. I know one day in the future I will have a sweet little bundle in my arms reading all my posts thinking, that all the waiting, the keeping my faith, and the praying like heck got me through the long and winding road with a great big reward in the end. Then I will become an obnoxious poster, plastering my baby all over this blog!!!

So, in the words from one of my favorite movies (Hope Floats) and the Bible, one year into Blogging.... My cup runneth over! (Psalm 23:5)

God is Great, Beer is Good, & People are CRAZY

You know I have really been surprised at people lately. I mean I know we are very self - centered country, but jeeze some people can't see beyond them selves. Unfortunately, its is those self - centered people who cause most of the turmoil in the the world today.

First, we have some people some stupid (yes I said that) people in the city we live in. This whole school consolidation issue has really been worrying me. Apparently the City of Memphis and MCS are the only people in the county that should have a say in sending our schools down the toilet. It just makes me crazy. I am one of those people who crave playing by the rules or not playing. Fairness is big with me. THIS IS NOT FAIR!!!! Not a single person has talked about what will happen to the kids and their education with a super-sized school system. In a world where, "Do you want fries with that?" Super sizing seems to be a bad thing every angle you look at it. We are about to embark on a route straight to kids working at McD's for the rest of their lives. The uncertainty is really want kills me. I am NOT a quitter. I have always tried to finish things no matter how badly I wanted to quit. MCS school board seems to be ok on quitting the children, but then want to take over our school system. WHAT??????? Are they MENTAL????? If ever you have prayed for MCS please do so as hard as you can right now, as well as the miss informed citizens who are jumping on a band wagon of miss-information. This is crucial!!!

Ok, we all know that we have been on a roller coaster ride this last 20 months of our lives trying desperately for a little miracle from God. Well, along this ride I have been on many ebbs and flows. It does get discouraging. There are times in the past that I have been down right distraught. Yes, I want to have my baby in my arms. But, it just isn't time yet. God's time is not ours to judge. It has taken me a long 20 months to come to grips with that. There were many times when I had (or so I thought) given it to God and then realized I was still trying to control it. Well, there are people out there who have made it harder for those who aren't pregnant and those who are trying to tell those who aren't.

Its hard enough for both parties to exchange the info, I mean its an awkward convo to have. But then there are people who make the non pregnant ones out to be tyrants who will hate you if you tell them which scares the preggos. We (infer tiles) already feel like we are one eyed aliens for not being able to join the pregnant world. The last thing we want is for people to walk around on eggshells around us. Well, at some point someone decided that pity for us is what they needed to have. Well, I might be speaking for myself and myself only, but I have never been mad at anyone who has become pregnant during our troubles. But, being out there, there have been many people who have become pregnant, (always seems like everyone when you are trying and not getting pregnant), that have been scared or worried to tell me. One person even apologized in advance for getting pregnant before me. At first I was worried it was the way I acted around them. Don't get me wrong, I have been sad to find out for me, but never for the mom to be. It seems that too many people these days think that it is all about them, um... no, its about being happy for the mom and baby to be. So, I realized it wasn't me at all, its those who have come before me, the ones who tell others they are mad that someone is pregnant and not them, or those who quit being around because the friend is pregnant.

Disclaimer - this is not meant to hurt anyone's feeling(as I know some people do), this is just an observation that I have had. It just sucks that I have friends who are lead to believe that I am going to take the news a certain way because of others. When all I want to do is be happy for them, be excited, and a friend.

I have come to realize 2 things. 1 - God is in control, deal with it. "With God all things are possible" didn't mean when we wanted them to be possible. Maybe I won't be a mother of my own biological kids one day, but I know that God will make it possible for me to be a mom to someone. 2- We need to get out of Shelby County before we are taxed to death with the backwards ways of the consolidation concept.

So to sum it up, in the words of Billy Currington, God is Great, Beer is Good (I'm drinking one now), and People are CRAZY!!!

SNOW DAY!!!

If you have ever heard that teachers are worse then kids when it comes to snow days.... it is SO TRUE!!! I have been trying to keep myself in check about the snow. I really didn't think it was going to really happen. Well it has! Man oh man! The buzz on Facebook started around 5 or so this afternoon. Well we finally started seeing the white stuff around 6pm.

Zeke watched and watched until he finally saw some snow. This where he ended up so he could see out the window.

Not that he really knows what it is, but he did sit at the window watching it like he knew what was going on.

When we let him out to go to the bathroom, he rooted around in the snow, nose it in the air, and run around. He is just like a little kid too, he would come in and with in about 5 minutes he was ready to go back out. It is hilarious.

This morning we got up so the 2 kiddos, one dog and one adult. Robbie was just as excited to get up and see the snow as Zeke. He said that he woke up every hour. I on the other hand slept like a rock. But, we were up at 9 am ready to go play in the snow.

Happy New Year

Well, I am hoping this is going to be a Happy new year. It has to be better than the last. I started my new years eve visiting a sweet friend at Baptist Women's Hospital to welcome her sweet Caroline to this world. Caroline was so perfect in every way. She has the cutest button nose ever! She also has the most hair I have ever seen ever, complete with a little bow. After holding that precious thing, I went to eat with the sweet friend that accompanied me to the hospital. We had a great time catching up and gossiping.

We attended our annual NYE party at my best friend Jessica's house. It was a great time had by all. It was fun to unwind and catch up with friends that we don't get to see on a daily basis. The only negative of the night was there isn't a decent countdown in Memphis on TV. We had to make our own.

Now, that is where my night turned way sideways. I had thought I was over the initial sadness of the last ttc disappointment. I think I might have just swept it under the carpet to get through the holidays because after the NYE kiss, I cried. And cried. And couldn't stop crying. I cried for about an hour and 1/2 til we got home and in bed. I guess sometimes you just need to get it out. But, I tend to be weepy like that and the simplest thing makes me cry. So, I guess my new year didn't really start they way I had it playing out in my mind. But, I did have my sweet husband and my very best friend in the whole wide world there to comfort me, cry with me, and just be there for me.

I pray that this year is much better than the last for everyone. I know that it will be and God will continue to bless each and every one of us.

What a Merry Christmas!!!

Well this Christmas could have been a terrible time if I had let it. I prayed that God would allow me a pass though. I really didn't want to be sad or upset and let it ruin everyone's holiday who came in contact with me. It was tough for about 3 days. It always seems that when you are at your lowest that is when you see whatever that is troubling you everywhere. This time was like most. Everywhere I looked I saw VERY pregnant women or families with lots of little ones. I was alright until a kiddo would make eye contact with me or wave. I prayed very hard that as the saying says, this to shall pass. And it got easier, I can even talk about it now and not cry.

So by the 23rd I was doing better and finishing up Christmas Presents. Man did I pull one on Robbie this year. He really thought that all he was getting was underwear and a pair of boat shoes that I actually had given him the day we had our pictures made for the Christmas cards. But, I wrapped up a sheet that I typed up saying that he would have to look for his last present. I told him it would fit in closets, under the bed, or in corners out of the way. He didn't want to look for it he really wanted me to just give it to him, but he looked for it anyway. I had wrapped it and put it under the couch earlier in the week. He was totally surprised that I got him a muzzle loader. That is a gun for none hunting folks. He had one and sold it right at the beginning of the muzzle loading season. He had immediate sellers remorse. So I thought that would be a great Christmas gift. I even told him we shouldn't spend the money on it right now... Hee hee I am sneaky sneaky. I tried to find a picture of it, but couldn't find one.

Zeke had a fabulous Christmas. He got so many toys he didn't know what to play with. And since he has ripped all the stuffing out of his Christmas goose and one of his skinny dogs.

Robbie got me some clothes ( I actually ordered them online for him to give me lol), Pure by DKNY perfume, and a mani/pedi at New You Salon & Spa.

We both got money and gift cards from my parents and "Santa". He hasn't used his yet, but I used mine Monday. I got an awesome Shark Vac then Steam mop.Two words for this creation: TRULY AMAZING!!! It is crazy

how much my sweet pup sheds and this sweet machine sucks it all up. I didn't even have to sweep. Then the steam part of it sanitizes and cleans the floor. Wow, am I easily amused or what??? Really if you have any type of hard floor surfaces you need this for sure!

On another note, we have decided to pay off some debt and start working on this old house to hopefully put it on the market at the end of the summer. This is very ambitious, but since the baby front isn't looking promising, we really want to move. So we have something to focus on while we put the baby making on the back burner.

All in all this Christmas was not what we had hoped for, but it sure was a wonderful holiday considering! 2011 is going to be a great year for us! We know it!!!

Amazing Night

Well this past Friday we headed out of town to Nashville for the Garth Brooks concert. It was a quick trip, but so worth it!!! We stayed at the Double Tree, which was nice. We met up with friends Laurie and Craig and headed out to the Concert.

Laurie and Craig got the tickets online from a ticket broker. Little did we know we paid more than face value for them. We got through the door and the lady scanning our tickets said there was something wrong with them. She asked us if we had already entered the building. Well obviously we didn't. So they took us to the ticket counter where we were told the tickets had been voided and or already used. They took them and said sorry about your luck. We were all freaking out. Craig called the broker and told him what was going on, and Robbie asked the lady if there were any tickets. Of course she said no its sold out. Then a few minutes later when we were not moving from her little ticket window she said, "oh here are 4 on the lower level. Do you want to purchase them?" We got four 3rd row tickets for $110, we originally spent $330 for the 4 from the broker. We were super excited!

The broker refunded the money and offered us tickets to another show. All in all we totally hit the jack pot! The stars were aligned :)

The concert was truly amazing! Garth is such a performer!!! Here are some pictures from the blessed event! :)

Well with everything going on lately it was super fabulous to get away and enjoy ourselves. Ever since all the shots, clomid, and IUI I have been an emotional roller coaster, so needless to say some of the songs struck an emotional cord with me. We were so close to the sound booth and back stage area that I had Robbie take a picture of the play list sitting on a speaker box. It was definitely a sign when I saw the song circled on the list.

I am so blessed that all my prayers haven't been answered over the years. Man, who knows where I would be if all the prayers I had at various times through out high school and college had be answered. Unfortunately, I have one prayer that is currently unanswered and the song makes me think, maybe I should be thanking God instead of questioning why????

I am so thankful for that wonderful night. Saturday was not lacked the happiness. I had shared with a friend earlier in the week that we would know if the IUI worked this weekend. I also asked her to pray that if we weren't pregnant for my cycle to hold off until we get back because I knew it would take the wind out of my sails. Not even an hour after we got home, I went to the bathroom and got our answer. I felt like a ton of bricks had just been dropped on my chest. The disappointment is indescribable. I needed some time to cry and be sad. I have tried to keep a happy face in public, but in private I am devastated. Robbie was sad too. He said, " I really thought you were pregnant, that it was going to work." That broke my heart even more. I think this time more than ever there was more invested in this. But, unlike the other cycles, I really gave it all to Him. I knew there weren't that great of chances, but that there was a better chance than on our own. I prayed during the insemination that his will would be done, that I really wanted this, but knew and trusted his judgement. I had a peace about it. I felt like we really had a chance.

So, we start yet another cycle, a year and a half into this crazy adventure. We have decided to stop trying for the time being. We will regroup and adjust and move on. We will continue to put our faith in God and know that even though we don't see the tiny miracle we hope for that we will be parents one day.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas... Cards with Shutterfly!

There is a chill in the air, snow flurries this past Sunday, the tree is all decorated, stockings hung, present bought and almost all wrapped.... what could I be missing?????

CHRISTMAS CARDS!!!! We got our pictures taken a few weeks ago, and I am chomping at the bit to get them back so I can get our Christmas cards made, addressed, and mailed all in 12 days. Nothing like waiting to the last minute huh?

Well, Shutterfly makes it so easy I am not too worried about the short amount of time I have to get them done. I heard from a couple of friends that Shutterfly had great Christmas cards this year. So, I have checked it out and man there are so many to choose from I am having a really hard time. They have traditional, modern, contemporary, whimsical, you name it they have it.

Here are the 3 I have narrowed it down to for this year:




When it comes to addressing all these Christmas Cards it can give you cramps, well Shutterfly has an alternative for you, not only can you have them mail them for you, you can purchase mailing address labels. They have such cute styles too!

But that is not all you can make on Shutterfly. I have used Shutterfly for photo books in the past. There is something about a personalized photo book that makes a gift so special! I made a book for my Dad for Father's Day. When we finally get pregnant I have a feeling I will be making lots and lots of photobooks! Check out all of the layouts and choice you have when you use Shutterfly:

I am looking forward to using Shutterfly to capture all our family's special moments in 2011!!!